Humor

15 Badass Jobs You Won’t Believe Actually Exist

Choosing the right career can be a challenge. Socially acceptable jobs do pay bills, but they may not necessarily be inspiring and or thrilling. Get yourself out of the cube farm and out into the world with some of these ridiculous ways people earn their living.

Golf Ball Retrieval Diver

This profession is a lot more dangerous than you might expect, and it requires tremendous skill to be successful. Many divers have drowned, fought off alligators during mating season, had fingers bitten off by snapping turtles, and tangled up in fallen trees.


Pro Falconer

Learn and practice the ancient sport of kings? Yes please. Your job involves training and deploying falcons around airport runways to scare off birds that could cause devastating bird strikes to incoming and outbound aircraft. Apparently this is also a very lucrative profession in the Middle East, as falconry is still practiced by Saudi Arabia’s elite class.


Ice Road Architect

Think about this for a minute. You are creating highways out of nothing but ice and snow, and you get PAID TO DO IT. And your parents said building snow forts would never get you anywhere in life…


Cave Diver

Imagine risking life and limb to help keep the world well supplied with clean water and assess climate change. Cave divers spend every day in danger from tight spaces, underwater and underground disorientation, poor visibility, and running out of oxygen. Many divers venture as far in as 1,000 to 2,000 feet from the nearest entrance and breathable air. Sure, it’s risky, but think about being able to fight global warming on a daily basis.


Toquero

Just so you are clear on this, your job is to electrocute heavily intoxicated people, and they PAY you to do it. Apparently, there is a current trend in Mexican bars where people do as many shots of tequila as they can and then try to withstand electric shocks administered by professionals (called toqueros) with battery packs. Where do I sign up?


Ski Patrol

Love being out in the snow? Jumping out of helicopters on top of mountains? Using high explosives to trigger avalanches on purpose to prevent accidental ones? Ski Patrol wants YOU!


Aerial Photography

If you have no fear of flying (or falling for that matter) and enjoy taking photos of sweeping vistas, this career definitely has a lot of upward mobility potential. Every pun intended.


Facade Engineer

Those interested in architecture and historical preservation may find their passion in facade engineering. Basically, a facade engineers job is to check national monuments and historical buildings for signs of wear, damage, or failure so they can be properly repaired and maintained. This involves a lot of repelling and work suspended hundreds of feet in the air. It is definitely one of the more extreme sports-style historical careers.


Shark Tank Cleaner

Scuba diving with sharks in an aquarium with no cage...no thanks! But you have to admit, in terms of extreme jobs that require nerves of steel, this one is a winner.


Pro Tree Climber

They pay you to climb trees and help others safely climb trees, such as scientists and explorers. Other than the tremendous heights and danger of falling to your death on a daily basis, it is hard to see a downside to this job.


Ravenmaster

The Ravenmaster at the Tower of London in England is responsible for caring for the six ravens that make the Tower their home. This is due to an old folk legend that six ravens must always watch over the Tower or the kingdom will fall. This is literally one of the most Game of Thrones career you can possibly have in real life. Not only that, but when you chat up people in the pub and they ask what you do for a living, you can present your work ID with pride.


Iceberg Removal Specialist

In order to keep ships safely moving along oceanic trade routes, icebergs that drift through those waters must routinely be towed safely out of the way by smaller ships or blasted out of the lane of travel with water cannons. This prevents collisions and lost of life during ocean travel due to nighttime or poor visibility conditions. Honestly though, they had me at “blasting with water cannons”. Seriously, who doesn’t want to shift gigantic floating mountains of ice for money?


Physical Security Specialist

Your job is to legally break into places and steal stuff for companies so they can verify that their assets are always secure. You are permitted to use any means at your disposal, including social engineering to con employees into giving you access to information you should not see or areas that are off-limits. Sounds like an ideal badass job to me.


Big Cat Dentist

Taking care of the teeth on animals that could easily take off a limb or snap your spine with a single bite is not my cup of tea, but you would have to be a serious stone cold badass with a drill to make this your career.

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